Foundation
Recorded February of 1997

Foundation - Ascension - Condemned
This is Not a Trend - In Closing

Foundation
reaching out again
might take more than I have
blinded by resentment and tortured by regret
drowning within memories I'd do anything...to forget.
what I said and what it meant
if I could I'd take it back.
what I said and what it meant
if I could I'd take it back....
.....reaching out again
might take more...than I have
blinded by resentment and tortured by regret
drowning within memories I'd do anything to forget
but what I've learned and how I've bled
won't make me restrain myself again
and moving on beyond the darkest days
I'll take one step forward...

If In Closing describes a liberation, this song describes the first step
taken in freedom...it is a step rooted in the agony of the past, yet driven
by the promise of the future...this is a difficult step to take, as many
attempt to take it prematurely (before acknowledging the complete depth of
the previous wound)


Ascension
...and driven towards ascention from the ashes of the past
with these words as a foundation and the future here at last
I have risen from my knees and won't again be beaten down
to just crumble at your feet and surrender values values I've cherished all
along
convictions grow stronger every day
because I know who I am and that's not changing
I'll live by my word and always strive to respect
and those who understand will stand by my side
my dedication is a bond secured by trust
which often doesn't seem to some to mean that much
but I am grasping at a vision of what this life means to me
and in light of those who don't seem to care I refuse to stand back...and
just let it fade
convictions grow stronger every day
because I know who I am and that's not changing
and to those who live by their word and always strive to respect
when all is said and done I'll stand by your side
reaching higher
always striving towards...as-cen-sion
ascension
 

Condemned
how can I make a difference when all the odds are stacked up against me?
"why bother - why even try?" - I hear it so often I could start to believe
but I'll never stand back and let those words take away my strength
or watch crisis turn to convention because out of sight means out of mind to you
drowning in ignorance - absorbed by fear
this is a culture of disrespect and I stand
by the side of those of we've condemned
all around are those we've condemned
truth denied to those
shatterered lives of those...
we've condemned ourselves to live in a world we don't understand
as molds of the marketplace and as pawns in the game
there's no escape from a value system where drugs and sex are bait to the masses the life we're sold leaves us with nothing - refuse to accept it - our
lives are worth more
and at least I'll make an effort to let my voice be heard
in a culture of disrespect and I stand
by the side of those we've condemned
all around are those we've condemned
truth denied to those
shattered lives of those we've condemned
time and time again I wonder if I'm the only one
who feels lost within our system
with no mind, no life, no words, no voice
my soul on trial - my back against the wall
but your dream means nothing to me...
and I will watch it fall

The American Dream is an empty vision countless numbers have based their
lives upon. This Dream is a figment of our imagination...this idea which
America sells us is a lie. Our society represents the bastardization of
democracy, of capitalism,
of decency, and the destruction of freewill. We must regain our individual
liberty...such freedom isn't given, isn't granted...it's taken. Through
indecision, apathy, and xxxxxx we have condemned those around us, and we
have condemned ourselves.

This Is Not a Trend
its so much more than just a slogan or a mark drawn on my hand
not a market to be exploited...or a fashion statement represented by a brand
its a feeling and it can't be sold
and I'm bound by my word
to stay true to what I know to be real
because no one else can tell me what it means to be straight edge
so don't ever try to purchase me or downplay what I feel
because this commitment is not a passing phase...
it's for myself that I've made this choice
it's for life that I embrace the edge
it comes from deep in my heart - I live to oppose their intoxication
my source of inspiration is threatened now by a false embrace
to be diluted and absorbed without a second thought
but standing defiant I won't let it end
so don't ever try to purchase me or downplay what I feel
because this commitment is not a passing phase
don't plan for me to sell out - or expect to pull me down
these days will turn into years as you wait for us to fall
because we will rise!!!
this is not a trend!
times will change but my feelings won't fade
times will change but the spirit remains
times will change but the truth is the same...this is not a trend
this is not a trend.....GO!!!

This song, while acknowledging a specific lifestyle (one which Trial
embraces) is not meant to be restricted in interpretation to just being
only about "straight edge". This song is meant to reflect punk rock,
hardcore, and all other aspects of the underground scene which are
currently threatened by corporate and media interests. These relentless
organizations see only profits in something which means the world to us.
But we are not the "next big craze". We will not be marketed. These
ideas, these feelings, cannot be bought or sold.
 

In Closing
you'd take my life and strip it away leaving me with nothing
and take for granted all I could give if
I just gave you the chance...
you'd use me for all I'm worth and then demand even more
with no thoughts beyond yourself
if I just gave you the chance...
this empty room is an endless maze
if I get caught within patterns that keep me lost
there's no way out - I know that I won't find the path I seek
as long as I allow you to convince me that I'm still weak
I'll cut the ties that bind to free me from your grasp
and endure each passing day as frustration builds inside
damaged fragments surround me - they always bring me down
the false sense of security they provide could keep me from moving on
but I just won't ever fall into that trap
I'll fight you with everything I have
consider this my pledge:
that there's no turning back
time won't heal these wounds
I'll leave you in the past
in the past
Iwon't be trapped

This song identifies an endless paradox: leaving someone behind so as not
to be dragged down into emotional death by their memory -vs- retaining a
part of the experience for protection against the enemies of the future.
Ultimately, this song is a song of liberation...of taking ones life
back...a liberation of the human spirit.

all songs by Trial, copyright1997
published by x43posicrewx on New Age Records

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